Twelve Days of Vengeance

Twelve Days of Vengeance

I have an old Christmas short story I'm giving away for free. This is a free ebook. It's available at Smashwords and comes in more formats than I can list.
It's about a man with a clouded past that discovers his wife has been taken captive by bandit from the hills. He gives chase hoping to meet up with them and save her. It all happen during the Christmas season of old.
Give is a read and please leave a review if you don't mind.

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Expires: January 9, 2014 

Review: Only God Forgives

I had the pleasure of renting Only God Forgives. I must warn you, it's not a fast paced movie. It's slow and drawn out like a knife to the gut. There is minimal dialogue but a lot of story. The interior and exterior scenes are a major part of the cinematography. Color is a major player as well. I am reminded of Kubrick and Lynch when I watch this movie. The use of long shots and open doors to frame the scenes are an example as well of the use of fantasy and symbolism in exchange for dialogue.
This is a noir style genre, where the anti-hero is against all odds of gaining the upper hand yet he still is determined to try. Gosling's character does try and his downward spiral is hard to watch but you can't turn away. If he can endure it, so can you.
Watch it not to be pumped up and entertained but watch it to be transported to a dark and dismal world filled with color and wrath.

A Father's Joy

My first born was born not breathing and to expect one outcome and to witness another was very traumatic for me and poetry helps me to face this event in my life.

dying of embarrassment

A shout out to the Poetry Jam next Saturday the 9th at Howie and Sons. I am taking part and I had a poem stuck deep inside of me. I've avoided it for a long time because it deals with one of most tragic days of my life. That being the birth of my first born. In the end, it all turned out to be a happy ending but the road to get there was horrific. So what do I do? I go to a public place, Starbucks, and pour my soul out onto paper. Not one of my brightest ideas but that's my story. So, after I get through that and dry my tears, I am pretty spent and not the sexy kind of spent that just popped into my head but the dragged through the mud and wish I was asleep kind of spent. So, I sat there to finish my coffee and checked Facebook for someone to message me and no one did. Sadface. That's when I notice a woman I remember from church when I attended. She was with another woman I did not recognize until later. Apparently the other woman, whom I don't know from church but through my kids, had lost a lot of weight and was prancing around looking for compliments. I did not give her one verbally. I thought she looked good but then I recognized her. I remembered she has a dark heart and there is no popular method to rid oneself of that and all her work to look good went down the drain as far as I'm concerned. This is probably more of a big deal for her than I could imagine because she's one of those ladies who live and breath by her appearances and what others think of her. Not that here life is perfect, I know what happens behind her door. Teenaged girls have loose lips to sink their mother's ships. So I gathered my things and left. I had walked to Starbucks and after a cup of their Thanksgiving Roast I had more pep to my step than the trip earlier. My caffeine high ended abruptly when as I was walking I stepped too close to the grass and into a dip on the lawn and down goes Frazier.  I wondered as I was laid out on the sidewalk, was I smited for my bad thoughts of another? I don't know. I'll be more loving next time. I picked myself up and continued home.

Hanging with Abby

 My wife, Jen, took 3 out of 4 of our children camping. I had to work and Abby had a choir concert, so we stayed behind. The concert was at this very lovely home called the Bennett Ranch. I guess they have other events there because they are set up with a kitchen and the grounds are beautiful. The concert was cool. The kids did a Beatles medley.
Afterwards we went home to chill and relax. In the morning we went to Tacos El Grullo for breakfast burrito. We were going to see a movie later and had time to kill. I took Abby on an adventure. I wanted to show her this super awesome gate on Oakmore near Prosperity in Tulare. Was also cool and didn't take a picture of was the front yard. They have metal sculptures dinosuars and a oil rig.

When we finished that, I showed her a double decker bus. I was behind a tree/bush but you can see the front of it clearly. You don't see those very often in the states and not at all in Tulare. So I thought. It too was on Oakmore.
We then went to the movie. We saw R.I.P.D. It wasn't a great movie but it was fun. Movies are meant to be fun. That was my weekend, hanging with Abby.

Flash Fiction: Doctered Pep

When I take a break at work, I often stare at the big soda machine. It has a small silent radio that scrolls an everlasting sales pitch to me to drink its sodas. Sometimes I give in, sometimes I ignore the thing and buy chips.

Truck drivers come into the break room all the time; seeing someone I didn't recognize bang on the soda machine was no big deal.

“Eat your money, did it," I asked?

He was lost in the moment and didn't answer me at first. I was about to walk away and leave him to his business when he spoke," Money? What money?"

"You did put money in the machine, didn't you?"

He looked at me dumbfounded, "Why would I ever give this ungrateful piece of clockwork my money?"

He looked serious when he said it,"Because the sodas aren't free. You have to pay for them."

I fished in my pocket for 3 coins, dropped them in the slot, made my choice and watched the can drop. I took it, opened it and drank it, "See how easy that is."

I pulled out 3 more coins and offered them to the stranger. His reaction was almost angry, "You were cheated, sir. Intergalactic law states that any humanoid encountering a sodtoid may take one can for refreshment during cosmic travel. It’s their ministry."

I was scared but I thought maybe he was just joking. I pray he was joking, "But I'm not traveling the cosmos," I smiled a nervous smile.

He looked me up and down, "Well, thats okay then, fundraising and all." He turned around and continued slapping the machine, “I think I got it. It was just stuck."

He slapped the glass at 12 o'clock, 6 o'clock, twisted the return lever, spun around twice and kicked it square in the door drop. His foot got stuck and he hopped around on one foot until his foot came loose. He cocked his head back and looked at me and smiled, "That did it."

He then pressed the button of the soda of his choice. The can hopped down from its perch and fell down below. The stranger knelt down and claimed his refreshment and left. I was intrigued and I followed him out to his big blue rig. He started it up and turned on his runner lights. Well, they looked like runner lights. The truck and trailer began to glow from underneath. It then began to raise.  As it hovered above my head, the driver stuck his head out and nodded his head, shot a me a couple of times with a finger gun and then rocketed off into the sky.

Flash Fiction: Clowns on a Bus

I was inspired by a news story from Northampton, England. There is a clown or bunch of clowns showing up and watching people. Not hurting anyone but just looking menacing. And lately, I've been riding the bus. The two naturally go together in my head to make this short story.

Stepping on to the bus, I took the front seat. I like seeing where I'm going. We didn't go far when the bus stopped. I couldn't see all that the driver could and I was curious what was going on. We waited there for minute. Then it started to cross the front of the bus. What it was, was a parade of clowns. Tall ones. Fat ones. Clowns of all colors and sizes. It was amusing at first as I watched. I then became aware they were all looking back. Looking at me. Clown upon clown. Clown after clown, all looking at me and saying something. I'm sure of it but I couldn't make it out. I heard street noises. I heard the bus AC. I did not hear  one voice from a clown. One after another after another walked past, looking at me and mouthing something. I am sure of it. I quickly became frustrated and spoke out loud. "What are they saying?" 
A fellow passenger from behind me answered, "They say, hungry. I'm hungry." I was confused. That doesn't make sense. I turned to question them. I wish I hadn't. The back of the bus was filled with clowns, hungry, hungry clowns.

John Neptune and the Zombies From Planet X

This is the first episode of The Galactic Adventures of John Neptune, created by Ian Pugh. When Planet X, a secret research facility, goes silent Private John Neptune is dispatched with Princess Sunflare to investigate.

My Son is Wonderfully Made

Evan is my second born. He is different. Here is another example of my mother's photography. I fixed it a little so you can see what's going on. And what is going on? My son is enjoying a gift from my parents. Eventually he did play with it out of the box but it wasn't necessary. That's how he rolls.

First Born Daughter

I am not a first born. This little girl is. She is my first born and she was a joy as a little girl. People would stop us just to look at her. She had the bluest blue eyes for the longest time and dark curly hair. Her little brother was had the blue eyes too but you can't see him but his feet because my mother was an awful photographer. I hope to share a few here.

Candy Crush Saga, I Wish I Could Quit You

My goodness has Candy Crush Saga taken off in popularity. I remember going to Free Comic Book Day at my local comic book store and there was the owner's wife sitting in the corner with her tablet playing this game. Not that I could see what she was doing. I sadly knew by just the music and sound effects. I played the stinking game non-stop. I hoped sometimes just to run out of lives so that I could have a break.

It wasn't until I reached level 65 did I come to my senses. It was a level that I could not beat. Hours turned to days and days turned to weeks and I was dumbfounded. I couldn't beat the game anymore. I was shocked and saddened but also relieved. I came to my senses and saw what had happened to me. I became addicted to a Facebook game once again. I need to start my own 12 step program.
It has happened to me before in the past. Games you might have once played yourself. It doesn't matter what they were. They are all the same. They make you think you are in control but you are not. They lead you down a path that is filled with little planned rewards but very little resolution. It's just enough to make you believe you can beat it and be its master. But you can't, you are not the master but a slave. The big pay off for the game companies is if you pay to be the slave to the game. Then they really have their hooks in you. I have always been lucky to avoid this trap. There was one time when I was playing a collector card game that I nearly bought a Facebook card at Target to buy better cards but then too, I came to my senses.
I am glad I got stuck on Candy Crush Saga. I hear Papa Pear Saga is fun.

Smells like Heaven; Cleans like Hell

My loving wife bought me my favorite soap at Target today. I told her we had to because it's the only thing that makes me happy. It's Softsoap Coconut and Warming Ginger. I love this hand soap. It smells like heaven and it cleans like hell. I purposefully got my hands dirty so I could wash my hands. I won't share what I did to dirty myself, I can say it's illegal is some states.
I'd like to mention that I haven't experienced the warming ginger of the soap. I'm am sure it's in there somewhere but the smell of coconut is divine. I love the smell and taste of coconut. I love it so much I dated a coconut once but it didn't work out because it turned out to be a dude. The nut in coconut should have been a hint.

Watermelon Time and the Living is Easy

Watermelons. They are everywhere in Visalia. Tasty too. I was told once to look for black goop coming out of it's ridges to tell if it is ripe or not. He said it was sugar seeping out. Rarely has this tactic let me down. Here is some more fun facts about watermelon I dug up from the Internet:

1. Not only does it quench your thirst, it can also quench inflammation that contributes to conditions like asthma, atherosclerosis, diabetes, colon cancer, and arthritis.
2. Over 1,200 varieties of watermelon are grown worldwide.
3. Watermelon is an ideal health food because it doesn’t contain any fat or cholesterol, is high in fiber and vitamins A & C and is a good source of potassium.
4. Pink watermelon is also a source of the potent carotenoid antioxidant, lycopene. These powerful antioxidants travel through the body neutralizing free radicals.
5. Watermelon is a vegetable! It is related to cucumbers, pumpkins and squash.
6. Early explorers used watermelons as canteens.
7. Watermelon is grown in over 96 countries worldwide.
8. In China and Japan watermelon is a popular gift to bring a host.
9. In Israel and Egypt, the sweet taste of watermelon is often paired with the salty taste of feta cheese.
10. Every part of a watermelon is edible, even the seeds and rinds.
11. The first recorded watermelon harvest occurred nearly 5,000 years ago in Egypt.
12. The first cookbook published in the U.S. in 1776 contained a recipe for watermelon rind pickles.
13. According to Guinness World Records, the world's heaviest watermelon was grown by Lloyd Bright of Arkadelphia, Arkansas in 2005, weighing in at 268.8 lbs (121.93 kg). Lloyd grew and weighed in for the Annual Hope, Arkansas Big Watermelon Contest on September 3, 2005
14. By weight, watermelon is the most-consumed melon in the U.S., followed by cantaloupe and honeydew.

Main Street Altar Art

We had an adult couple night with some great friends of ours. We ate and had some wonderful beers and a good time was had by all. At the end of our time together we saw a baby shoe on the sidewalk. We decided to create an impromptu altar to the baby shoe. It is awesome and I wish we brought a candle to complete the piece. Maybe next time.
It is a blessing to have them in our lives. Great folks and fun to create art on the run with.

I have a brick BBQ

I have a brick BBQ. I thought it was a piece of crap until I told a few co-workers and they became very jealous. I was like all,"Whatcha talkin' about, Willis?" I then went to task to clean it up and around it. Its been ignored since forever. I don't think anyone since the original owner has used it. This is like a story of resurrection and Resurrection Sunday is coming. Share in my treasure. What was once lost is not found and enjoyed by my family and I hope by good friends as well.

If I can only figure it out. I hope this works out. I can grill on a propane grill but I've never gone old school. It does smell good. I am excited to eat the pin wheel I bought at the meat store. It cost me 12 bucks and I bought it on a whim. The butcher lady said some kind of steak and bacon wrapped and all I can recall was bacon being mentioned and I bought it. My wife was less than thrilled at my 12 dollar purchase but she  also said I should buy what I want and I do want that bacon and meat wheel.
*edit - I need to practice more at this.

St. Patrick's

Are you aware that Protestants wear orange on St. Patrick's Day? Yeah, me either. Put this is a lemon and not an orange. My wife's cousin's neighbor had a lemon tree, sorry. That's where we spent our St. Patrick's Day dinner at. So much to eat and I ate until I ached. That's my holiday tradition, eat 'til you ache.
My lovely wife made her cabbage that I absolutely love. She makes it only once a year. I am desperate to break her of that. She also made green caramel popcorn and another green poke cake.

Pro-Africa, Non Committed Graffiti Artist

We must have a pro-Africa, non committed graffiti artist in the neighborhood. I say non committed because they didn't spray paint, they typed it on a piece of paper in the shape of Africa and then dropped it in our mailbox for only our mailman and us to see. Now you can enjoy it too.