Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The Mexican Hairbrush

Have you ever been 43 years old and not impressed with what you've done with your life. If you have, then you will know what it's like to be me otherwise you don't know what it's like to be me.
Cue Tom Petty song.

Those who do know, let's hold hands and look upon those who don't and sigh. Because we know what you are headed for and you don't have a clue. Here's a link to a clue .
Today as I was laying in bed waiting for the inevitable 2nd alarm for me to get up. Yes, I have two alarms. First one is to get up and get the kids out the door for school. I then consume media for awhile then I return to bed and...
Now that we are all up to speed, back to my thoughts. The second alarm goes off and I am fuddling for the phone that is so alarming. I then just lay there and reflect on how I can make more money because that is and always has been my thought since the day I learned money makes my life more chocolatey. But, I never have enough. Life sucks. Money sucks. Someone perform a mercy killing on me.
That is when my brain scream at me. I real inaudible scream in my head. It screams, "The Mexican Hairbrush." Strange, I know. But before I could recover from this, I hear my wife's voice yell back inquisitively, "What's that?"
So, to recap. A voice of unknown origin likes to yell in my head as well as my wife's doppelganger apparently lives in my head too and has conversations that I am not apart of in my own thoughts.
But back to the major elephant in my head room.
What is The Mexican Hairbrush? My first thought is sexual of course.
This is were we take a dark turn so if you are of the gentle type go read something else.
My first thought of what The Mexican Hairbrush is someone dragging their scrotum or all of their genitals across someone's hair in an attempt to comb it. If that isn't an actual thing, I invented it. That is my legacy. It ain't much but it's what I got so far. I sure hope my life improves because if it doesn't, one of my family members will have to summarize my entire life as the guy who invented The Mexican Hairbrush and as a tribute they will ask for everyone to pull out there junk and brush each others hair. I can see family and friends in black weeping and dragging their goodies on each others' hair.
What a memorial. I hope they all get arrested.
I can't allow that to happen. I have to be more than that guy. I'll think more on this but for now. buh-bye.
I gotta go. He's out there and I gotta go to work.

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